Monkey’s favorite show right now is “Sofia the First.” He loves the flying horses and the woolly wombeast. He particularly loves Cedric the evil sorcerer, and the dude with the magic show who kidnaps Clover and renames him Mr. Cuddles. (Monkey’s stuffed bunny is now named “Mr Cuddles” and is forced into servitude multiple times a day.) He got really excited a few days ago when he saw Sofia in her purple dress on a puzzle at the library. He also loves to watch the songs from the movie “Moana” (he has a name for each song: “How Far I’ll Go” is “the pig”; “You’re Welcome” is “the big rock”).
So it bugs me when, as this morning, we are at a doctor’s appointment and the doctor or nurse, who is kindly fanning out a handful of stickers for Monkey to choose from, shuffles rapidly past the Sofia and Moana stickers and go straight to Ninja Turtles and Spiderman.
OK, maybe it’s not a big deal. They’re just stickers, right? But you know what, screw that, it IS a big deal. My 3 year old just went through an uncomfortable and scary procedure (which happens to him A LOT) and he should get to pick a sticker that he really wants, not what YOU (well meaning adult) think he should want. I mean, at least let him LOOK at the stickers you would show if he were a girl. Just show all the kids the same stickers! I’m sure there’s a little girl out there somewhere who loves Ninja Turtles and would be thrilled to have the sticker Monkey somewhat reluctantly took for lack of options.
I’m trying to come up with a quick, polite way of letting these medical professionals know that they need to show him the “girl” stickers too. I’m just not sure how to phrase it. I did speak up once, and Monkey delightedly chose, from a full drawer of stickers, one with Dora on it, which was his favorite show at the time.
This is 2017, folks. It’s not even about gender identity or sexuality at this point, it’s about acknowledging that human taste doesn’t fall into neat stereotypical boxes along arbitrary gender lines.
When I was little, I loved dinosaurs (still do). I put bows on my dinosaurs and made them marry each other. I played with a “boy” thing (dinosaurs) in a “girl” kind of way (weddings), just like Monkey enjoys a “girl” thing (Sofia) in a “boy” kind of way (evil magician). (Even these designations are arbitrary; I love a good evil magician as much as the next person.) But it doesn’t occur to companies to sell shirts with dinosaurs wearing bows in the girls’ section of the store, or with Cedric and his evil crow in the boys’. I can’t decide if this is prejudice, or capitalism, or a lack of imagination. Maybe all of the above.