Why poor people have iPhones

This post is dedicated to the asshole doctor who said on the radio this morning that Medicaid patients can afford copays because he sees them using iPhones in the waiting room.

Full disclosure: I don’t have an iPhone. I have a cell phone from the Paleolithic era which has never heard of the internet, takes smeary pictures that may or may not be images of human beings, and has absolutely no clue what to do with an emoticon. This is because I love-hate technology. I do have an iPad, sort of. The iPad, which was given to me by a relative, who bought it used, appears to be one of the first iPads ever made. Half the apps don’t work on it. I use it to entertain my autistic son during doctor’s appointments (it has some of his favorite videos downloaded) and to access the internet during his surgeries/hospital stays. It also serves as our family’s camera. My laptop is only a little bit broken; as long as the screen is at a certain angle, it works just fine.

I have, however, worked alongside other poor people who do have iPhones and I think I may be able to offer some explanation to those who are confused by this phenomenon. (Not that I’m the first person to explain it, but whatever. Obviously it needs to be said over and over.)

First of all, some people buy themselves an iPhone while employed and then lose their job and have to apply for Medicaid. The organization that instantly confiscates iPhones from people who’ve just lost their jobs or otherwise encountered hardship has not yet been invented, although I’m sure someone somewhere is working on it.

Other people, like my former coworkers, still have their jobs; their jobs just don’t pay them much of anything. Often, they are single moms (for a variety of extremely legitimate reasons). Sometimes they’re also supporting grandchildren or extended family. They are putting food on the table (possibly with help from SNAP or WIC), they are paying rent (possibly with help from Section 8), they are (mostly) paying the utilities, but paying for medical care is just beyond them. They are stretched to the financial breaking point. At any given time they are likely to have all of $3 in their checking account – if they have a checking account.

So what are these people doing with iPhones?

For many people, an iPhone serves as a cell phone AND a land line AND a computer AND a camera. Phone and internet are basically essential to maintaining a job in our society, and it’s actually cheaper to have an iPhone than to buy all of those things separately. The iPhone might be a gift or a hand-me-down from a relative, they may have bought it used from a friend, or it might be something that they thought about and decided was a good investment for their family. The iPhone might be the thing that helps them stay awake during 12 hour night shifts, or allows them to communicate via FaceTime with their teenage kids when they have 36 hours of back-to-back shifts at different jobs. (Yes, people do that. It’s insane, it’s probably dangerous, but they do, because they’re trying to survive and take care of their families.) And finally, handing that iPhone to their child might be the thing that saves their sanity on days when they feel utterly, utterly exhausted, and yet they still have to drag their children to an appointment with a shit doctor who is judging them from the moment they step into the waiting room.

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Blargh

I have things to say, I just can’t access them past all the rage. So, all I can really say is that with regard to myself, my son, and various other people that I love – I feel that our right to exist, to live, our worth as human beings is under attack by the government right now.

Shocker? Maybe, maybe not. I’ve just never felt it so keenly. I guess that says something about my own privilege.

Dear medical staff: can we have the stickers without the gendered assumptions, please?

Monkey’s favorite show right now is “Sofia the First.” He loves the flying horses and the woolly wombeast. He particularly loves Cedric the evil sorcerer, and the dude with the magic show who kidnaps Clover and renames him Mr. Cuddles. (Monkey’s stuffed bunny is now named “Mr Cuddles” and is forced into servitude multiple times a day.) He got really excited a few days ago when he saw Sofia in her purple dress on a puzzle at the library. He also loves to watch the songs from the movie “Moana” (he has a name for each song: “How Far I’ll Go” is “the pig”; “You’re Welcome” is “the big rock”).

So it bugs me when, as this morning, we are at a doctor’s appointment and the doctor or nurse, who is kindly fanning out a handful of stickers for Monkey to choose from, shuffles rapidly past the Sofia and Moana stickers and go straight to Ninja Turtles and Spiderman.

OK, maybe it’s not a big deal. They’re just stickers, right? But you know what, screw that, it IS a big deal. My 3 year old just went through an uncomfortable and scary procedure (which happens to him A LOT) and he should get to pick a sticker that he really wants, not what YOU (well meaning adult) think he should want. I mean, at least let him LOOK at the stickers you would show if he were a girl. Just show all the kids the same stickers! I’m sure there’s a little girl out there somewhere who loves Ninja Turtles and would be thrilled to have the sticker Monkey somewhat reluctantly took for lack of options.

I’m trying to come up with a quick, polite way of letting these medical professionals know that they need to show him the “girl” stickers too. I’m just not sure how to phrase it. I did speak up once, and Monkey delightedly chose, from a full drawer of stickers, one with Dora on it, which was his favorite show at the time.

This is 2017, folks. It’s not even about gender identity or sexuality at this point, it’s about acknowledging that human taste doesn’t fall into neat stereotypical boxes along arbitrary gender lines.

When I was little, I loved dinosaurs (still do). I put bows on my dinosaurs and made them marry each other. I played with a “boy” thing (dinosaurs) in a “girl” kind of way (weddings), just like Monkey enjoys a “girl” thing (Sofia) in a “boy” kind of way (evil magician). (Even these designations are arbitrary; I love a good evil magician as much as the next person.) But it doesn’t occur to companies to sell shirts with dinosaurs wearing bows in the girls’ section of the store, or with Cedric and his evil crow in the boys’. I can’t decide if this is prejudice, or capitalism, or a lack of imagination. Maybe all of the above.